Game of Thrones Snatched ALL My Edges: Season 7 Review

Welcome Back Boo,

I hope you are all very well!

WINTER IS HERE B*TCHES! Game of Throners, this one is for YOU and if you don’t watch it hopefully after this you will put some respek on HBO’s name and get with the winning team! This highly anticipated penultimate season of Game of Thrones did NOT disappoint and I wanted to share my two cents on character progression, the love interests, key events and my expectations from season 8! So without further ado LET’S DO IT!

the night king gif.gif

Okay now the night king is a fierce motha f*cka, am I right?

His levels of unbothered when throwing spears at the dragons are goals! He pretty much told all of Daenerys’ enemies ‘GET YOU a dragon if you want one! Ain’t nobody stopping you! YOU GET A DRAGON YOU GET A DRAGON YOU GET A DRAGON!’ oprah you get a car gif .gif

When will your fav javelin thrower ever?!

 

Dany & Jon

This part of the season in my opinion was poorly executed.. such anticipation and teasing for them to give us WHAT? That awkward sex scene at the end? NOPE! Return to sender because I was not impressed. That was the most uncomfortable scene of the entire season for me- where was the passion? where was the heat? I know y’all are riding to your potential deaths but y’all don’t have to carry that depressing attitude to the bedroom? (Everyone was thinking it). Instead that scene was saved by a potentially jealous Tyrion standing outside listening (which also made me feel uncomfortable)! I’m excited to see where they go with this because as we all know; there’s nothing worse than a Lannister scorned..

 

Dany’s sexy sidekick and unsullied guy

By now I think it’s clear I don’t know everyone’s name y’all are going to have to allow me this time okay? OKRRRAY. So I actually took an interest in Game of Thrones because erryone and their mother at my sixth form kept telling me about how Missandei went to our school and we were all HIGHkey gassed about it so I decided to check out Dany’s sexy side chick in action and make no mistake, if only one person can remain standing my allegiances are with her and her unsullied prince YASS! Just think of all the beautiful children they could’ve had I am SO rooting for them and him fulfilling his promise and returning alive was a much needed satisfying moment at the climax of this season.

The Cerise theory 

So we all know by now that Cersie is the baddest b*tch thus far

cersie gif .gif

BUT I came across an interesting theory about her demise. Ite so it was prophesied that Cerise will fall at the hand of a ‘little brother’ so we assumed Jaime (I’ll get to him) or Tyrion RIGHT? Well what if instead in light of her being pregnant that little brother was not referring to her’s but her deceased children and she will die during childbirth; an ironic fate since Tyrion’s birth was the thing that triggered the demise in her entire family- wow my alevel in english wasn’t completely useless.

 

Jaime’s OVERDUE ’emancipation’

I almost quit this show due to this reckless love affair. Jaime Lannister is the most stupid person iv ever watched on TV and Cerise is the ULTIMATE finesse chick. Listen, after 7 seasons, i’m over the incest. What I’m NOT over is the higy haga of a character that is Jamie- Hunny Cersie can have another you in a minute you are NOT irreplaceable. what you IS, is irrelevant so maybe now you’ve decided to defect you’ll have more value. Everyone on Cerise’s side needs to take a leaf out of Jaime’s book and join the efforts in the north.

get with the winning team hoe gif.gif

 

Brienne of Irrelevant Tarth and why she’s annoying me 

‘I made a pledge to your mother’, ‘I promised your mother’, ‘Mother mother mother’. Listen Bre Bre- MAMA IS DEAD. she GONE! Find yourself a new purpose! I can’t be the only person who thinks she has fulfilled her promise to Kat Stark and THEN some! The sisters are even reunited, get you a man and have you some babies girl! By the look of things the season you even have some admirers.. wendy williams

 

The fiercest sisterhood of ALL timeeee

Sansa and Arya have both exceeded my expectations! Arya used to annoy me but now she’s all faceless and errythang i can dig it; she’s FIERCE! I don’t know when Sansa decided to download this bad b*tch personality but I am HERE for it! Just when i think she is stupid, she outsmarts us ALL! Lady stark sounds about right to me- SLAY me!

 

LIL FINGER 

Little finger has been cancelled for a while now, it’s about time. He should have died last season but I can see why they dragged out his useless existence. Bran bringing receipts at his trial like: rihanna waving gif.gif

 

Uncle Tyrion

Tyrion has been through it and stays going through it ALL! I can see why he isn’t the same charismatic man we saw season 1 but I feel he lost his loveable a**hole appeal! And can someone get uncle Tyrion a close shave? that beard finna way him down.

 

The HOUND

when Brienne said ‘I thought you were dead’ in the finale.. *sigh* Bre Bre.. you and me BOTH! This b*tch just WON’T DIE! I think everyone (including the writers) need to let the man be, he has proven *african accent* no weapon forged against him shall PROSpaaaaaa

 

 

YOU CAN’T F*CK WITH THEM IF YOU WANTED TOOOOO

NAME A TRIO BADDER THAN DANY’S DRAGONS- i’ll wait jamie lann gif

My favourite scenes of the entire show always featured the dragons! When Dany made that entrance in the Loot Train battle (What kind of dumba** name?..) the look on Jaime’s face was almost as shook as the one on mine when my mum used to come home and I’d forgotten to take the meat out the freezer (y’all know the one I’m talm bout’)

 

Jon Snow’s Heritage 

So.. I’m still getting my head around this but Jon is Dany’s Nephew..? OVER IT. We both know that won’t stop their love affair so let’s move onto more important things: POWER. Although being the rightful heir to the iron throne I doubt Jon will want it, the spoiled brat and should he survive I believe he will give it to Dany who at that point will (if the writers didn’t already make it obvious enough) be carrying his unborn child. PREDICTABLE.

 

Scales (Jorah) 

This b*tch really wasn’t playing when Dany told him to find a cure huh? I haven’t forgotten his lil episode of betrayal but him returning alive was NOT something I saw coming. So for this reason he’s been upgraded to bad bitch status.

 

Sandwell Tarly & the girl from skins 

Both irrelevant, will never learn their names @ me if you’re feeling bad. I know he is a loveable character but that’s precisely why he annoys me! His naivety and plight is SO b a s i c. Wifey annoyed me when she was in skins too.. I know y’all are going to fight me on this one but don’t hatedont be a hater hater.gif

 

Since when could they apparate?! 

How are people transporting everywhere so fast like I’m so confused! With so much to show in 7 episodes I think the team got carried away! Dany’s method of transport was the ONLY one that made sense! Everyone else couldn’t physically have gotten anywhere as fast as they did; But Dany’s african timing in the finale had me dying! Y’all know she took her dragons to the park or the mall to pass time- that’s the kind of petty behaviour I can get behind; Dany you’re doing amazing sweetie x

 

Lady Olenna 

BADDEST B*TCHHHH! Still love her for cancelling Joffrey, Still love her for her candour and still love her for always being one step ahead even in death! Apart from that little episode at the Septum of Balour, she stayed winning.

 

Theon and the Ratchetjoys 

NOW YOU WANNA BE BRAVE? oh Hun.. You’re finished. return to sender. Theon the thot has GOTS TA GO. Can take his uncle with him who is even more stupid. White walkers can’t swim? you ain’t never think they could LEARN? They once said the exact same thing about black people! The night king is coming for you when you do decide to hide away on your likkle island dumba*s. daenerys eye rolling .gif

 

Welp! Thats it for my opinions on Game of Thrones’ 7th season! Overall still the best show of this summer and if it wasn’t for HBO’s lack of online security I would say the production is a 10/10 BIH.

Let’s discuss!

Let me know in the comment section what you thought of this season i’d love to know your opinions on the show in general and the ridiculously long wait we now have until the final season.

Remember to keep on slaying,

See you next time xoxo

 

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